I'm laying in your front yard are you home
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
