Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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