I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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