Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
