guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
