The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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