why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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