some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
where are you?
Hypothermia
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize