i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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