conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
