She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
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That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
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