I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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