If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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