Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
