You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
