i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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