I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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