How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
You dont lie about slip and slides
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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