I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
