Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
