i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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