guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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