My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize