If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
