You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
