i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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