My sheets look like a crime scene.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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