well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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