1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
