I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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