My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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