She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
