Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
