Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
