I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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