There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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