Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
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