I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
