I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Sorry my hands just texted you
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
