I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
