We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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