i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
