Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Shame - the story of my life.
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