You made me cry and you don't even care
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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