he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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