Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
