I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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