mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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