My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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