I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
