her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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