Your face is a jimmy john
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
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left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
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The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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