1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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