That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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