oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
