I want to walk on stilts...naked
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I'm both gender and math confused
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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