Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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