she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize