She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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