its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
