Kiss
Puke
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
