I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
